Being Diane Read online

  Chapter 15

  The next morning I woke up when it was just getting light enough to see. I got up carefully so I wouldn't wake Julie and put my jeans on and a blouse I went down stairs and did my exercises in the back yard until Robert came out in a pair of jogging pants and a t-shirt. He joined in and did the same exercises with me and corrected me on some of the things I was doing wrong.

  “I do the same kata's every day. I makes me much more focused and alert. I also have to say that I feel alive when I do them. So where do you take lessons?” he asked.

  I just held up my book and showed it to him. “Are you kidding me. You have learned that much from a book?” he exclaimed.

  “Yes sir. That is where I have learned what I know.” I said.

  He shook his head and said. “Amazing. Come on that's enough let's go get something to eat before Sarah gets here and won't let us in her kitchen.”

  He fixed me two eggs and bacon with toast. It was great. I can't tell you how long it had been since I had breakfast. He fixed some coffee and noticed that I was watching him pour a cup for himself, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

  “Yes please.” I said. And he poured me a cup also. I savored the aroma and sipped it slowly letting the warm liquid go down. I loved coffee, but that was also something that I hadn't been able to have in a while. I suddenly realized that there were a lot of things I had to live without now and I started to feel sad. Somehow, I had to improve my situation to continue to live. I was absolutely dirt poor and living on turnips and turnip greens that I sneaked out of the garden and ate raw and they weren't going to keep me going. I needed a place to get clean and a place to cook a hot meal every now and then, but how I was going to do it. I was going to have to think about it.

  “Diane I need to apologize for the way Katherine treated you last night.” said Robert. “I want you to know that we had a serious discussion about her behavior and I told her that I didn't appreciate it at all. She is supposed to apologize to you today and if she doesn't, then I do believe that the wedding is in jeopardy. I won't marry a hate monger.” He said.

  “Thank you. But I am sorry that I caused you this trouble.” I said. “How did you find out about it anyway?”

  “I knew that something happened as soon as you got back to the table. I saw the spit on your dress and knew immediately that someone had insulted you. But I knew that no one else had reason to insult you and when Katherine came back and had a smug look on her face I knew what had happened.” She is supposed to be here about ten thirty or eleven. I don't know if she is coming or not but if she doesn't then I am going to tell the family that the wedding is off. Like I said, I can't marry a hate monger. No matter how much I think I love her.” he said.

  He sat down on the couch and picked up the paper and started reading it. I was looking at the business section reading the agriculture articles when I came across an article about a small company that was going to split its stock two for one. “Excuse me do you know what it means to split a stock two for one?” I asked.

  Robert stopped and looked at me funny. “Where did you see that?” so I showed him. He read the article and looked on the stock listings. I thought he had gone nuts he took the paper and went to the phone. “Stan tell me what you know about a company called Station. Yeah I know it's early, but Diane just found an article in the paper that says they are going to split their stock two for one. No, I'm not kidding. Yeah I'll wait while you get your paper.” he turned to me and gave me a thumbs up. I really thought he was nuts then. “yeah I'm still here. It's in section C on the third page at the bottom under an article about farm commodities prices. Yeah that's it. That's right Diane found it. Sure, I guess that I can get Dad to go with me this morning and meet you at his office. Say about nine. Okay see you then.” He hung up the phone and turned to me and had a funny look in his eye, then he grabbed me and gave a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I knew then that he really had gone nuts.

  He took off upstairs and I could hear him waking up his Dad. Apparently, Mr. Givens wanted to sleep in on the weekends but Robert wasn't going to let that happen today. Then both of them came out and started getting ready to go. I was upset because not only did he take the agriculture section but the comics were in that section. So I sat back and drank the rest of my coffee. I poured another cup and had just sat down when Mr. Givens came through and took it from me saying, “young ladies don't need to drink coffee.” and he kissed me on the top of the head. “Robert come on I don't want to miss this opportunity.”

  “I'm coming, I'm coming.” he said as he came through the door. I had gotten another cup and had poured myself another cup of coffee. When he ran up to me and took it from me. “Dad said young ladies don't need to drink coffee and he kissed me on the top of the head and ran out the door after his father. I gave up on trying to have a second cup and went into the living room and started reading the fashion section. I didn't like what I saw.

  Some designer was using something called polyester, a man-made fiber, to make men's clothes. It was supposed to be as durable as cotton but was lighter and could be made into complex patterns by printing the patterns on to the fabric instead of having to weave the different colors into a pattern in the cloth. If it caught on it could have a devastating effect on cotton prices. The good thing that I got out of the paper was that a couple of fast food chains were going to have to increase the amount of beef needed to satisfy customer demand. Along with the need for more potatoes, tomatoes, lettuce and onions they used in the production of their sandwiches. Hm if I had a hundred acres of land, I could grow those and maybe make a nice profit. I would have to talk to Uncle Will about it.

  Mrs. Givens came down stairs and found me reading the paper. I had just about gone through the entire fashion section when she approached, “Hey honey, how long have you been up?”

  “I guess that I have been up about an hour and a half. Robert showed me that my exercises are called kata's and corrected some of the little things I have been doing wrong. Oh and he is a good cook he made me some eggs and bacon and I got one cup of coffee before Mr. Givens and Robert took the second one away from me as they ran out the door.” I said.

  “Young ladies don't need to be drinking coffee.” She said as she sipped a cup of coffee. She sat down next to me on the couch and put her arms around me and pulled me in close. She was warm and soft in her robe and she just sat there with me. “So what was all the hubbub about this morning? I've never seen them so excited this early on a weekend in ages.”

  “I don't really know. I was reading the agriculture section of the paper and saw a one-paragraph article about a company called Station that was going to split its stock two for one this week and Robert went nuts. He called Mr. Washington and then ran upstairs and got Mr. Givens up and they ran out the door and Mr. Givens took my coffee.” I said.

  Mrs. Givens had a serious look on her face and she asked. “Diane what is your given name?”

  “Dennis, Ms. Givens gave the name of Diane to me.” I said.

  “Does anybody else know about how you feel? I mean about wanting to be a girl.”

  “No mam, as far as I know no one knows.”

  “Your parents don't know? How could they not know you are showing quite a bit now and in a little while, you are going to really be showing. They should be able to tell when they hug you.”

  “I can't remember the last time my Mom hugged me and I don't remember my Dad ever hugging me except when he was drunk.” I was starting to tear up and I really didn't want to continue the conversation, but I wasn't going to be rude. Our family had never been a touchy feely kind, but it seemed as though it is important in this family.

  “You have a brother don't you? An older brother? Do they hug him?”

  “Yes mam, they hug him a lot. He's really the only one that stands up for me. He has stopped a couple of beatings that I was getting and stood up to both Mom and Dad.”

  “So they show him affection but not you?”


  “Yes, Mam.” I had picked up a paper napkin in the kitchen and now I was wiping my eyes and nose with it. All I ever wanted was a hug every now and then from my Mom but now she won't even talk to me. I guess that she is ashamed of me since I shot those two. Now I live in a hayloft and I struggle to find enough to eat and stay warm. Last night was the best sleep that I can remember in a warm and soft bed. Now I'm being held by someone who seems to care. Why can't I get that from my own parents.

  “Who looks after you? How do you live?”

  “My Uncle comes by and checks on me. He seems to really care, but I'm different and I don't think he knows exactly how to deal with me. I think he knows that something is happening to my body but he doesn't know what to do.”

  “Do you really live in a barn? And sleep in a hayloft? How do you keep clean and how do you keep your clothes clean?”

  I hung my head and mumbled quietly. “Yes mam. I live in the barn and I don't have access to a bath or washing machine. I was using the washing machine in the washhouse to clean my clothes but Mom found out and had Ralph tell me that I couldn't use it any more. So now I use the hydrant in the tractor yard to rinse out my clothes and kind of wash off as best I can.”

  “Are you ashamed to be living that way?”

  “Wouldn't you? I stay smelly and dirty all the time. My hair is always oily and greasy. I usually have hay stuck in it and in my clothes. I stay cold all the time and hungry. I'm not thirsty because I drink as much water as I can hold to offset the lack of food. Last night when Sally told me about them letting me on the squad I was so excited, but as I think about it I have to refuse because I can't come to the games filthy like I always am. I really was looking forward to it. I can't go back to school because they would send me home to take a bath before I could come back and I don't have a bath to use.” The tears were pouring now. I really felt ashamed because I thought I was just using them for a free ride. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t be talking about me.”

  Mrs. Givens held me tight and let me cry it out. She took the napkin and wiped away my tears. “Diane, I didn't mean to make you cry, I am so sorry, honey. I want you to talk to Ted today at the Mall while Julie is being fitted. He is a good Doctor and he can help. So how about talking to him? For me okay?”

  “I may not get the chance.”

  “Oh, why not?” she asked.

  “According to Robert, Katherine has to come over here this morning and apologize or he is going to call off the wedding if she doesn't show.” I said.

  “Hmpf that would be fine with me. I thought all along that he has had blinders on about her. I hope he has had his eyes opened. So why wouldn't you get a chance to talk to him?” she said.

  “Didn't you see the way Ms. Givens and Mr. Ross were looking at each other last night, I have the feeling that they are going to be inseparable after last night. If he's gay then I'm the pope.” I said. “Mrs. Givens I just want to thank you for all that you have done and I hope that you don't think I'm just trying to get a free ride out of you.”

  “Why of course not! Where did you get an idea like that?” she demanded.

  “That's what Katherine said last night right after she called me a 'shem' and spit on me.” I said.

  “Honey, I want you to know that I wanted Julie to bring you. You are all she has talked about and she is so excited to see you smile and that I wanted to see you. As far as a free ride, No! I have loved picking out clothes for you. If you want me to stop, say so. I won't like it and I may not even stop if you say so. So throw that free ride thing out right now. Do you understand?”

  “Yes mam. I understand.” I said.

  “Now you are not going to look like a vagabond here so go upstairs and take a shower and put on something nice. If you look in the closet, I think you might find something that you will like. Go on and get cleaned up.” she hugged me tight and kissed me on the forehead and brushed my hair back out of my face revealing the scar and when she did, I heard her go “Oh my.” but she didn't ask anything about it.

  I went upstairs and went into the room to get some clean clothes and Julie was still asleep. I was curious though about what was in the closet. So I went in and looked. I found that she had placed several dresses and outfits in there with shoes and accessories for me, I knew because she had tagged them with my name. I picked out a blouse and skirt that would go well with my saddle oxfords and picked out some under wear and went to the bathroom. I found that it had a shower and it had shampoo and conditioner for my hair in it. I got a shower and when I stepped out Sally, was there brushing her teeth. I had a towel around me and stepped back into the shower so Sally couldn't see me and dried off quickly. I just wasn't comfortable with being undressed around them even though I was supposed to be a girl. I put my panties and bra on and pulled the skirt and blouse on and walked out with the towel around my head. I brushed my teeth and was finishing up when I saw Sally naked in the mirror getting into the shower. I practically ran out of the bathroom.

  I finished getting dressed in the bedroom, but I didn't put any make up on. I really liked the outfit it was a corduroy beige skirt and a pink blouse. I put on a pair of white knee socks and my shoes. I took my watch out of my purse and put it on. I felt lost without it, then I sat down and brushed my hair out. “You look nice honey.” said Julie.

  “Good morning.” I said. “What time did you get in last night?” I asked in a nosy manner.

  “None of your business, besides if you weren't such a sound sleeper you would have known.” she replied and snickered. She had a big smile on her face as she laid back on the bed.

  I ran over and jumped in beside her, “So did you make out with Ted?” I asked.

  “Why you little booger!” She said and grabbed me and pulled me close. “And what if I did?”

  Sally and Annie came in then and jumped on Ms. Givens and started asking a million questions about what she and Ted did last night. Ms. Givens said she wasn't going to kiss and tell so we might as well stop asking. “So you did KISS. Is he a good kisser.” asked Annie. “I'll bet you did more than just kiss didn't you.” said Sally. “So are you going to see him again? Are you going to kiss him again?” Sally asked with a smirk.

  “Out, all three of you OUT! And just for the record, I have a date to see him today. So there.” said Ms. Givens in exasperation and she pushed us all out onto the floor. That was when her Mother came in and shooed us all out and told me to brush Sally's hair for her while Annie takes a shower. Then she shut the door and we heard Ms. Givens shout, “Moootttheeerrr really!” We all giggled and ran back into Annie's and Sally's room. Mrs. Givens came in and winked at us and walked out humming the wedding march. The three of us burst out laughing. Ms. Givens came in and told us to hush and we all started humming the wedding march. Then she took off down the hall calling for her mother. She was all red faced and was stammering. It was hilarious.

  I picked up a brush and started on Sally's hair Annie was behind me and she took off her nightie and panties and walked up beside me and started picking out her clothes for the day. I was terribly uncomfortable and I guess that it showed because Annie came up to me and asked. “Diane is something wrong?”

  “Well, to be honest I am a little embarrassed to see you naked. I mean do you think that it is OK to be naked in front of me?” I could feel my cheeks burning. I wondered if the girls just considered me another girl or a homosexual guy in a dress that wouldn’t do anything to them. Then I thought maybe they are testing me to see how I would react, either way I was very uncomfortable with it.

  She looked at me and started laughing, then she came over and hugged me tight. “Girlfriend, you are as much a girl as we are and I don't see any problem with it.” Then she picked up her clothes and put on her robe and stopped and walked back over to me and kissed me. Sally pushed her away and said, “Beat it hussy she's mine.”

  “I just wanted to find out if you were right about her having the softest lips.” and she walked out.

  “And don't yo
u get any ideas either.” ordered Sally.

  I held up my hands in surrender, “Don't worry she is Gill's all the way. By the way what have you told her?” I demanded. Sally just grinned and wouldn’t answer the question.

  I helped Sally pick out something out of her suitcase and then out of curiosity I went into the closet. Sure enough, there were several outfits hanging in there with their names on them. I grabbed Sally who was still trying to decide and pulled her into the closet with me. She stood there with her mouth open and was looking at all of the clothes. I pulled a skirt and blouse out and held them up to her. She started tearing up and I held her tight. Then she pulled away and ran down the hall to Ms. Givens and asked, “Are all those clothes for us?”

  “Oh I forgot to tell you. Mom had been shopping and got all three of you, new outfits to wear. I hope you like them.” she replied.

  “Like them I love them. Can we wear them today?” asked Sally.

  “Sure that's what she got them for.” answered Ms. Givens.

  Sally and I ran back to her room and she started looking through the clothes and she picked out a really nice dress to wear. She took her robe off and had me to help her try it on. It was a perfect fit and she looked heavenly in it. Then she saw the shoes and really went wild. Annie came back from the shower and looked in the closet to see what was going on. Sally told her that they were theirs. Annie started looking through them and picked out one that was beautiful. They both got dressed and the three of us went downstairs where we found Mrs. Givens in the kitchen and we all grabbed her and told her thank you for the clothes.

  “You are more that welcome. I hope you like them, those are our latest line of girl’s clothing and I love them too. So what do you think of them?” she said.

  “We love them.” We all squealed.

  Ms. Givens looked each one of us over with a critical eye. “So how did you know our sizes?” asked Sally.

  “Sweetie, Julie had to earn her way by working in the store. And she can judge sizes better than anyone I know.” said Mrs. Givens.

  “Wow, you mean she had to earn her own spending money?” asked Annie.

  “Yes mam, just like you do. I'm sure that during the farming season Diane will be doing the same thing. And the two of you earn money doing chores around the house. So would you like some breakfast. I gave Sarah a paid day off so I could practice my cooking.”

  “Do you like pancakes?” I asked.

  “I love them would you like me to make some for you?” said Mrs. Givens.

  “No, I make the best pancakes in town. How about if we make them for you?” I said.

  “That would be wonderful. Julie says you can prop a door open with my pancakes anyway. I'll get what you will need out and you can go to it. Just stay out of the coffee.” she said.

  “Yes mam.” we said and we each put on an apron and I made the pancakes. They must have been a hit because they ate them all. When Annie and Sally saw that I wasn't joining them I had to tell them that a hot guy made me breakfast. Then Annie put one and one together and figured out that Robert had made me breakfast and was green with envy.

  “Mother, you need to take lessons from Diane on how to make these. They are so lite and fluffy and they won't hold open a door.” said Julie.

  “Okay, okay so I'm not the best cook but I am the best looking while trying.” and we all laughed at that, I had to agree. She was as beautiful as her daughter, slender very few wrinkles and a fantastic figure. She had a few gray hairs but they just made her look even more beautiful. “So how did you get them so lite and fluffy? You used the same things that I use to cook with, but yours turned out great.”

  “I watch the consistency of the batter and adjust it accordingly. I don't want it so thick that it makes them tough and I don't want it thin because they will come out flat. It needs to be in the middle and when you pour the batter into the pan you make a swirl pattern that seems to help also.” I said. “Oh and I put two tablespoons of sugar in the batter to give it a little sweetness.”

  “Is there anything you can't do?” asked Mrs. Givens.

  “Make money.” I replied.

  “Making money isn't everything.” Mrs. Givens said.

  “It would be nice. I have four years to go before I can start being a part of the farm management. Then I can start making a living and get a part of the profits. I am concerned though about the future of farming. I noticed that a new fiber is being used by the fashion industry and if that happens then you can bet cotton will take a nose dive.” I said.

  “Why does a new fiber concern you?” asked Ms. Givens. “There will always be a need for cotton especially in the fashion industry to make blue jeans and such.”

  “Yes mam there will always be a need for cotton but in what quantity is the important question. I know that blue jeans will always be in need for casual use, however the thing that really makes money is when it is used for other things. I am already seeing that nylon is being used more and more by the military and they had always been a major user of cotton fabrics. Right now, they are using synthetic fibers in their load bearing equipment because it doesn't rot in wet environments. If the fashion industry starts making clothes out of synthetic fibers that are more flexible and more attractive, then the cotton prices will fall.” I said.

  “Diane you seem to have a firm grasp of marketing. How do you do it?” asked Ms. Givens.

  “Remember I have been living on the farm for eight years and I read all the agriculture magazines and articles I can get my hands on.” I said.

  “What would you do to make sure that a decline in prices didn't negatively affect the survival of the farm?” asked Mrs. Givens. Sally and Annie had a look of being impressed.

  “I would diversify the crops or find a way to improve the yield to offset the loss. I saw where a company in California has developed a tomato that can be picked using a mechanical picker. That would increase the amount of profit in growing them. You see vegetables are currently a very labor intensive crop and having the labor generally requires using immigrant labor since the current labor force available is inadequate for the needs of a farmer growing vegetables in this area.” I said. “Also the use of a two crop system on the same acreage would be a plus. I would like to plant winter wheat and a short growing season soybean. My Uncle doesn't want to do that because of the cost, but I don't think that he has realized that the total profit would be about twenty percent more than what we are realizing from the current single crop.”

  “You are an amazing young lady. Well let's get the dishes washed. Roger and Robert should be back soon.” Said Mrs. Givens. We all got up and took the dishes to the kitchen and I put on an apron and ran some water in the sink. Sally put on another one and I washed and she dried. Annie cleaned off the stove and all of the counter tops. It didn't take us long to do it and as we were finishing up the men came back.

  Mr. Givens came in and asked, “Miranda, what's for breakfast?”

  “We had pancakes.” said Mrs. Givens.

  “You didn't cook them did you?” he asked.

  “What did you mean by that?” she demanded.

  “Well you are a wonderful partner and a wonderful business person but cooking isn't your forte.” he said.

  “So who cooked?” he asked.

  “Diane and she is a fabulous cook, but you are too late and you took her coffee. So you get toast if you can figure out how to work the toaster.” said Mrs. Givens.

  “Hmm do you think I could talk her into fixing something for me? Diane? Oh there you are. Could I talk you into cooking me a little breakfast?” asked Mr. Givens.

  “Uh, yes sir. I don't see why not.” I replied.

  “Oh no you don't. Diane, you and the girls just got through cleaning up the kitchen and he did take your coffee so you three have a seat and relax until we get ready to go. I'll fix his breakfast.” said Mrs. Givens.

  “Yes mam.” We all said. Mr. Givens rolled his eyes and sighed in surrender.

  At elev
en o'clock Mrs. Givens announced that it was time to go and we all got up to leave. Robert was obviously unhappy and said he was going to catch up with us later. I knew he was hoping that Katherine would come but I think he knew it wasn't going to happen and was very unhappy. Mr. Givens told him he would stay at the house with him. The three of us girls were sent out to the back yard and even though they thought, we couldn't hear we could still hear what was said.

  “Mother, Julie don't worry about the fittings. I am calling off the wedding.” said Robert. “Last night was an eye opening experience and she hasn't made any effort to call or come by so as far as I'm concerned the wedding is off.”

  “Robert give her a chance. She might come around, we will go ahead with the fitting There's time to cancel it later. I know that what she did was uncalled for, but I wonder if she was just not prepared for the occasion.” said Mrs. Givens.

  “Mom, we had a long talk last night and she said she wouldn't have anything to do with Diane and she didn't approve of the way we were treating her. Like there was nothing wrong with the way, she was acting. Katherine told me she was never going to apologize and had no intentions to marry me if I insisted on her apologizing. So as far as I'm concerned the wedding is off. I think that Diane is a wonderful and very special person that deserves our friendship. I don't think that she is here for a free ride and I don't think she is a freak. I won't allow anybody to abuse her either.”

  “Well son I'm sorry this happened but it might be for the best. Although I have to agree with your Mother, they should go ahead with the fitting and give the two of you time to work this out.” Said Mr. Givens.

  “Okay Dad and Mom I'll go along with you on this but if she doesn't come around soon I'm going to officially call off the wedding.” said Robert.

  “Alright sweetheart. We will respect you and support you in whatever decision you make.” said Mrs. Givens and she got up and gave him a big hug.

  “So you haven't said anything Julie.” said Robert.

  “Robert, I agree with you and with Mother and Father and whatever you decide will be fine with me. Now I think we had better get the girls in before they freeze out there and we have to get someone to unstick their ears from the door.” replied Julie.